Illusioned Innocence Contained in a Vampiric Mind
by Krikoris
Summary: This is a songfic that I wrote to push me back into writing fan ficcies, and it's not that bad. It involves Risika and herself, the innocence she shed and refused to let back in. Blah blah read and review if ya want.


Erm, hi guys. I know I haven't updated in such a long time, I couldn't even come on this site without getting upset about the writer's block that has consumed me....But here is a gift in my hopes that you will forgive me. I am working on the next chapters of my ficcies, and they should be up within the next week or so, I hope.  
  
Anyway, this is yet another songfic regarding my favorite voice, Amy Lee of Evanescence. The song is titled 'Hello' and I was instantly struck with lost inspiration the moment I finished downloading it. It is so sad, you must listen to it.  
  
Without furter adue, here is my newest songfic, 'Whispers of Innocence Once Lost.'  
  
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Risika sat contently on the paint chipped bench as she observed the young children froliking without a care. She knew that once, she had been as small as them, as careless and free. But she had been struck with unwanted immortality and a thirst for the elixir of the damned.  
  
She barely acknowledged the bells that rung, signaling the young the return to the prison that held their physical bodies hostage as their tender minds were forced to drown in knowledge unwanted.  
  
*playground school bells ring again*  
  
Sighing, the vampiress watched as the children sulked into the building while their thoughts lingered on the grounds in which they played. Risika could hear their thoughts, their inner pleadings of just a few more minutes of freedom.  
  
A clap of thunder convinced the willing stragglers to shuffle in, leaving Risika to lift her gaze to the sky. Dark clouds swept in as if feathers on the wind, causing her to close her eyes and shaking her head.  
  
*Rain clouds come to play again*  
  
A single droplet of rain fell into Risika's willing hand, the unnatural coldness seeping into her skin, the water caressing her pores for a blissful moment or so before the rain picked up suddenly, the tears of a weeping goddess surrounding Risika in a deafening shroud.  
  
*Has no one told you she's not breathing?*  
  
Lifting her head to the sky, she let the rain caress her cheeks, the sadness of the crying goddess enter her body, leaving only her mind to hear. The one thing that Risika wished she could not hear, and it was that very thing that attempted to entrance her.  
  
*Hello I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to*  
  
The innocence she heard in that voice made her shake her head, knowing that her mental shields were worthless when one tries to fight against ones own mind.  
  
Tiger striped hair matted to her head and face, she finally made her way away from the school, hoping that the voice in her head, her own voice of years long past, would leave her.  
  
*Hello.*  
  
"Leave me be," she snapped at herself although she knew it was pointless. Risika could not understand. She had killed her innocence years ago, and yet it still remained locked inside her. Yet another phantom of her past haunting her present, promising to curse her future.  
  
The voice spoke once again, however, instead of speaking to Risika, it was as if it was talking to itself, reassuring itself that one day it would be free of the encasement of which it had been bound inside.  
  
*If I smile and don't believe, soon I know I'll wake from this dream*  
  
Risika wrapped her arms around her body in attempt to block out the coldness that she felt budding from deep within herself. As many reasons as she found to blame this sudden unwanted fit of self reflection, none seemed to fit. Perhaps she had hit her head a bit too hard the other night when she was fighting that witch.  
  
Perhaps if she fed...  
  
*Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken*  
  
The frustration finally began to wrap itself around her, enveloping Risika in itself as the rain continued to silence all but her own thoughts. For a brief second, her eyelids fluttered, pushing back the tears that she did not wish to let go.  
  
Despite her strong will, a single salty tear slipped down her cheek, mixing with the rain that slipped down her pale skin.  
  
*Don't cry*  
  
With a quick gesture, Risika pushed her soaked hair from her eyes, killing the tears behind her eyes as she continued her way down the street. She did not wish to speak with herself, the person she had been once. Ather had killed Rachel in body, and Aubrey had helped kill the poor girl in mind.  
  
*Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping*  
  
The fear in the voice in her head caused Risika to stop her movement and stare at the cracked sidewalk underneath her boots. It was as if Rachel finally realized that she was not dreaming, but truly frozen inside the mind of a vampire, a demon.  
  
*Hello, I'm still here.*  
  
Desperation mixed with the fear that she felt only in her mind, not in body. It caused her to go lightheaded, forcing her to lean against the wall of a building to keep herself steady. The emotions, Risika knew, were merely illusions of innocence long past.  
  
Finally, she finally managed to gain control of the voice in her head, forcing it down with all her supernatural mind. Fists clenched, eyes shut tightly, Risika silenced the pleads that had caused her humanity to rise and resurrect the tears that she had slain merely moments previous.  
  
But the last fading words stayed in her thoughts as she continued her way down the street, clouds dissapearing as swiftly as they had arrived.  
  
*All that's left of yesterday.*  
  
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I know that this isnt't as good as my others, and this does not show justice to the beauty of the song. I think this was just helping me get back into the movement of things. Nonetheless, even though I do not deserve it, I would appreciate it if you reviewed. I'm really sorry that I have not updated in such a long time, and I hope ya'll forgive me.  
  
Krikoris 


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